HIS SPIRIT WILL LIVE ON
Cassandra Carland
This year marks 10 years since Chris' passing, a major milestone in remembering this much-loved doctor. Here we bring you an excerpt from a speech at the ceremony.
There are men that stand above the common herd: the physician almost as a rule is the flower of our civilization and when the stage of man is done with, he will be thought to have most notably exhibited the virtues of the race. Generosity he has, discretion – tested by a hundred secrets; tact – tried in a thousand embarrassments; and what is more important, Herculean cheerfulness and courage. So it is that he brings cheer into a sick room and often enough, though not so often as he desires, brings healing.
Eulogy of the Doctor – Robert Louis Stevenson (†1894)
YOU all know that one of Chris’ passions was healing and, as a doctor he was much loved by his patients who showed this oh so clearly when the news of his death became public. They brought to his surgery flowers, food, condolence cards and offers of help – along with their distress, not only for Soni and the boys but also for themselves, I think, because they had lost such a fine and respected and loved doctor. But Chris was much more than a physician. He was a family man, a husband, friend, mentor and companion to all of you who are united by grief, bound together by love, respect and gratitude for him.
Chris has been the essence of love and strength, emotional security and intellectual excitement. At times such as this grief is too personal and too profound, and words can seem too meagre, too poor to provide a true reflection of what his loss means. His was a wonderful and harmonious composition of qualities: courage, vigour, honesty, passion for his interests, commitment and generosity.
He knew what he wanted to do and his sure sense of purpose coupled with his intellect and imagination forged an abiding interest in researching the fields of nutritional medicine and neurofeedback. But in the course of accomplishing so much, Chris always maintained a warmth, gentleness and sensitivity, endearing him to his family, friends, colleagues and patients. The tragedy for him and for us is that his life was cut short. But he built and created so much and so well both at home and work that his influence and spirit will live on. Let us then be grateful that we have been graced by the love, friendship and achievements of this lovely talented man.
Chris was born in Birchip, and grew up in Rainbow, where his father was the postmaster. He was a boarder at Ballarat Grammar and academically very good, achieving Dux of the school. The headmaster suggested that, because he was so bright, medicine would be a good career path for him. His mother had a strong interest in naturopathy and when Chris suffered from chronic fatigue as a young man a natural diet helped him, thus kindling his interest in nutritional medicine.
Consequently, when studying medicine he was always interested in looking beyond traditional western medicine. His insatiable thirst for knowledge lead to him reading widely in a continuing quest for ways and means to help his patients.
When Chris had finished Uni he worked at the Base Hospital and that was how he and Jan met – she was nursing there. They married and settled in Creswick and the children came along – Jim, Huw, Lachlan and Sarah, who sadly died at birth.
Jan and Chris sent the boys to the same school that Chris had attended and all the boys have developed different special interests: Jim has always loved music, Huw’s interest is visual arts, Lachlan’s is creating a career as a sports manager – and therefore it seems that each child demonstrates a little bit of their father in their interests. Chris was very proud of his boys and encouraged them to follow their interests.
Soni and Chris met through a mutual friend whose book Soni was editing. Both in their mid-forties, they found they had many mutual interests and felt that there was an inevitability about their coming together – it was meant to be. They married in 2005, the same year they started Chris’ solo practice in Humffray Street.
Your memories of Chris do matter: the way he touched your lives, the affection, friendship and love he gave out to his family and friends, the closeness and the laughs. You all have been enriched by knowing him. And so, while we feel enormous grief at his death, which is a completely natural feeling, let’s also feel gratitude for his life. Let’s thank him for the many memories he has left: his smile, his frown, his quirky sense of humour and his jokes. Remember the fun times and the hard times, the struggles and the triumphs. Remember what it is to be loved by him, to be his friend, to feel the pressure of his hand, to know his smile, to see his face light up when he sees you.
But this is the time for accepting that we are saying goodbye to his physical presence and it’s not easy to let go. I’d like to say a few words about grief and loss. We all know that, in loving someone, we risk the pain that comes if we ever lose them. Grief is a very natural part of this process of accepting that a person we loved, cared about and appreciated is no longer here to share things with. – But what if we had never had anyone in our lives whom we would miss, no-one who would have given us cause to feel bereft, to feel grief and loneliness when they had died? What if we had never had anyone in our lives whom we would unexpectedly find ourselves remembering with a smile on our face for some reason? Our lives have all been enriched by knowing him. May we be given the wisdom to accept his going, help us to remember all the good things he taught us and the love that he gave, knowing that he would want us to remember him with a smile. Let him live on in all those who have loved him, for he has loved you all, in the best way he could.
If we remember and are remembered, life endures, meaning reigns, hope perseveres. Chris’ thoughts, examples and generous deeds will never die because during his life he added to the general well-being of our society and touched so many hearts in so many different ways. May your memories be a source of strength and may his life continue to inspire all whom it touched.
For all that Chris has given us to make us what we are, for that of him which lives and grows in each of us, we give thanks. In love and respect, we have remembered Chris’s life, character and personality, which we commit to our memories. His loves, ideals and passions we commit to our hearts.
♾️
In memory of Dr Chris Millar (1954–2014).
© 2015 Chris Millar Foundation for Integrative Medicine Inc
